Ayurveda is a special type of massage in Kerala, specific to this area – one not to be missed. Although it has its quirks, but doesn’t everything in India?
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| Am I looking relaxed yet? |
I have had about 4 massages while I’ve been here – mostly when we go away for the weekend. They tend to only cost $30-$40 for a 1hour and 45 min session including a steam and shower scrub – and you are assured to sleep like a baby the night after. Each one has been different; each one has its “special” quality. I’ve gone from my first experience of being slathered with oil so thick I slide off the table like a wet seal, to the experience where I go with my driver to a spot that is “cheaper” than the hotel (not a good idea…) to my latest experience of being left awkwardly in the shower when the water turned off. As I sat contemplating in the shower I thought I would share the experience – it helped pass the time.
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| Hollie taking in the Munnar views |
We were in Munnar at our beautiful hotel on the rim of an expansive tea plantation spread below us. I took the 20-minute hike to the top of the hill for my much-anticipated massage. I was welcomed and brought into a room where I was expected to drop everything while being watched closely. I had the hot oil poured on my head and massaged into the roots of my hair for 15mins – feels so wrong and so right all at the same time. Then I was asked to lie on the leather table slathered in oil and the massage part begins, it starts with your feet and ends with your face, flipping over like a well-oiled fish in between. When the massage is finished you carefully get up making sure not to go ass over teakettle as you make your way to the steaming box. They open the box and shut you inside with your head sticking out – thank the Lord for that bit of genius seeing as inside the box can easily reach 120+ degrees. Seriously, it is so hot you want to scream by the end of it, but we don’t complain in India, things are what they are and accepted gracefully.
I began to worry when my little massage lady (they were all very little..) kept going in and out of the shower looking quit concerned. At this point I had been in the hot box for longer than I had anticipated, but every time she came in the door she refused eye contact. I had visions of dying in that hotbox, and Hollie having to deal with my body, and of the inconvenience that would cause her. I struggled to stay focused and not faint from the heat as she continued to run in and out of the bathroom avoiding eye contact. Finally, as my head was slowly starting to sink into the hole and my life was flashing before me she rescued me and opened the box – I have never been so relieved.
Little did I know the torture had only just begun. Now, mind you, the massage was fabulous, I have no complaints – probably the best one I’ve had and they have all been great. But, the shine began to dim starting with that hot box and the lights went completely out once the shower came into the picture. Going from the hot box to the cold bathroom made me look forward to that warm shower. The problem here, that I chose to ignore, (because it just couldn’t be), was that NEVER has a shower in India been a satisfying experience. Though THIS shower had two heads and jets coming in from all directions – this was a high tech shower, it had to be able to out perform any of the other showers so far! I stood in the shower naked as a jaybird as she tried desperately to get the water hot. Finally she gives me the head waggle and I step in…CRAP!! HOT!! But, I don’t want to complain because she worked so hard to get the hot to come out, but I just could NOT stand it and had to have her readjust the temperature. After some time of turning the nob in what I was sure was the wrong direction, she gives me the go ahead and I get in. It’s FREEZING cold, like glacier cold! I tried so hard to just deal with it, but in the end I just couldn’t get under the water. I start fiddling with it myself – not wanting to upset her by calling her in again. As I step out of the flow of water I have the idea to just lather up and rinse off as fast as possible and get the hell out of there. I shampoo my hair, with what I think was actually oil, and lather up my body, a nice BIG lather to get all the oil off. As I gather up the courage to step under the ice-cold flow I look up and I watched as the water slowly dissipated to nothing…no water…desperate situation. I try to call my little friend back to me but my calls go unanswered as I stand there naked, all lathered up, with nowhere to go.
She finally comes in and is trying to ask why I turned off the water, and I tried to explain that I didn’t, that it did it all by itself (so hard to communicate sometimes), especially when you are standing in a shower naked, freezing cold with soap in your eyes. Then the panic I had seen in her before began again…….she would come back every two minutes and tell me two more minutes – but in India two minutes can mean 10 or 20 or an hour, just depends on the day. I try practicing the patience I have acquired while in India and think that in my normal life I might get frustrated or upset sitting in a shower with no water, stark naked and realizing I’m actually paying for this experience. Then, I receive a gift; the answer to the one question I have had this whole trip was answered. The purpose of the bucket and pitcher becomes clear as my friend re-enters the bathroom…… it’s for those special moments when the shower actually doesn’t work (which I am realizing is most of the time). The bucket is filled with boiling hot water and then there is another bucket filled with cold. The pitcher is to combine the two and rinse off manually. Never have I been so grateful to have that bucket!! I was most eager to get the soap out of my eyes and I was almost complete with the rinse when she comes back in and turns the shower on. She is so happy it works she takes my bucket away and motions for me to finish in the shower. I get under the shower for my final rinse and it’s the very same cold water it was before.
I suck it up, looking at my abandoned bucket and call it a day.
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